Itteh Bitteh Cliche Committeh
by Requiem for the Dream
Summary: Wake up and smell the coffee. Another fic-bashing fic brought to you by yours truly. Ooh, look! Another opportunity to tell you how much the Warriors writers and fandom sucks! Don't like cats cursing? Too bad.


**Face it: I love fic-bashing. Along with OC Problem and The Warriors Fandom, this is my third one. :) Haha. I'm bored, it's 6:16 PM (When I started writing it. I left to go do some other stuff. -shrug-), and I need something to do. Some of you may recognize the title from a certain site. ;) I will be the narrator in this, because, face it, I have to interact with the characters.**

**Itteh Bitteh Cliche Committeh**

Six cats.

Six cats all in a perfectly straight line, each one as different as night and day. Three toms. Three queens.

Why I feel the need to point this out...I don't know. Anyway, so there were six cats all standing in a perfectly straight horizontal line. Now, to start off with, we'll call up the first cat. Miss completely pink-furred she-cat with little purple stripes and dots, will you please step forward?

"Sure," said Miss Odd-Color.

Now, as I'm sure you can see, being oddly colored is something not natural at ALL in the world of wild cats. Miss Odd-Color, what is your name?

"Rainbowstripesanddots," said Rainbowstripesanddots.

Please introduce yourself to the audience.

"Very well," she meowed and stepped forward with her head held high. "I am Rainbowstripesanddots, and I represent the cliche of odd-color. I take many forms; I often times have white fur with red spots and violet eyes, or a pink pelt with pink eyes and black ears. I can have azure blue fur with little eight-colored rainbows plastered on my ass, or I can be completely navy blue with random pink and yellow smiley faces on both cheeks. Either way, I suck. The concept of ginger fur, black fur, white fur, gray tabby, golden tabby, brown tabby, black and white, gray and white, ginger and white, gray/brown/golden tabby and white, gray fur, cream fur, calico, tortoiseshell, siamese-tip fur, blue (gray-ish color) fur, brown fur, brown and white, and many, many other fur colors and patterns is a foreign concept to my creators. They suck as well." Stepping back in line, Rainbowstripesanddots left center-stage.

Next up, Mr. Generic Personality. Mr. Generic Personality, will you please take the spotlight?

Walking up to Rainbowstripesanddots place, a new cat, a black tom, sat. "I am Nopersonality, and I have no personality. I am lame, generic, and make a boring main character. I either have no personality - something that many "authors" use just because I am flexible and can fit any situation. We're being attacked by an enemy patrol? I'll be sharp-tongued. My mate has kits? I'll be the nicest cat you ever saw, no matter what happens, I'll fit the situation. Along with that, I can also be feisty and mean But Only To Cats Who Don't Understand Me. I am also a rebel Because I Never Follow The Warrior Code. I can be shy and quiet Because I Have A Dark Past, or I can be a Bluestar - all wise and shit when I need to be. Either way, I'm highly overused, and have no personality. I suck," Nopersonality explained.

"You do suck!" yelled Rainbowstripesanddots.

"Shut the Place of No Stars up before I go to ShadowClan and kick your ass back to South America!" Nopersonality yelled. Freezing, he then added, "See? I just went from being nice and civil to a bat out of hell."

"Next," Tainted Lullaby/Ziro sighed, changing tenses for some unknown reason.

"High. I'm Mycreatorcan'tnametheirfanfictioncatsforshit, and my creator can't name their fanfiction cats for shit," Mycreatorcan'tnametheirfanfictioncatsforshit said. "Not only can my creator not name their fanfiction cats for shit, my comrades have st00pid names. Our leader is Discostar, our deputy is EverybodyDanceNow, our medicine cat is Perfectionkitteh, and our warriors have equally retarded names, such as the following: Linewhisker, Bicolorfire, Wallclimber, Treehugger, Eggsucker, Hippielion, Blanketfur, Puzzleface, Computersmart, Walrusflipper, Kickin'chicken, and LOLstar. I come from a Clan where everybody has odd pelt colors and the same personalities. I suck, also." Mycreatorcan'tnametheirfanfictioncatsforshit then stepped back for the next cat to go.

"I'm Halftraining," said a golden three-moon-old kit. "I was a kit for only one chapter, I spent two fifty-word chapters as an apprentice, three chapters as a warrior, two sentences as deputy, and became leader two hours ago. I refused the name StarClan tried to give me Beacause I Am So Rebellious." Halftraining rolled his eyes and stepped back. The last two cats - both a tom and a queen - both stepped forward.

"I'm Unfunnylameparody," mewed Unfunnylameparody. Unfunnylameparody then randomly jumped up and started doing the disco and then sat back down before anyone noticed. "FUDGE! I LIKE CRACKERS AND DIP AND BEER AND OMG! LOOK! A PONY! Anyway, I'm Unfunnylameparody, and I am often subject to be included in the abuse that most unfunny lame parodies put me in. I can be found begging for coffee, getting high off of catnip, eating penguins, or obssessing over donkeys. I LIKE POPCORN. I am also usually the main character of kids in the age range of nine to eleven." Unfunnylameparody then put on a cowboy hat and ran off to join the rodeo.

...And if you thought that was funny, you leave me no choice but to hit you over the head with a shovel.

"And last, but not least, it is I, CreatorCat," came CreatorCat's god-like booming voice. "I can take the appearance of many people, but I prefer to use the body of a prepubescent monkey, seeing as that's how I act most of the time. I am the foul creator of all the cats above, and all the things that branch of them. For example, having a bad name often leads to impossible names, which often leads to other stuff. Pelt colors lead to impossible names, and personalities lead to prophecies and stuff. As you can see, the five things above are the basis for all the horrible crap in this fandom. Now, if--" But it was too late, for Ziro and Tainted Lullaby high-fived each other as they blew off CreatorCat's head with a shotgun.

**I'm bored. Again. Neeee, hatemail, anyone? I apologize for any errors. (I'm too lazy to re-read it over again.)**


End file.
